Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
