WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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