Best friends brother. Beat that.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
