I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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