"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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