Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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