Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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