im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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