I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
