Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize