its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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