Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
