I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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