Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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