I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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