Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
