There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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