I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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