There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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