we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
