omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
