Your mouth is God's brothel.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
