i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
