I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
