Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
