For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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