i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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