so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
