Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
