Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he just fucked me for my cheese.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
