Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wish I only lived at night.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize