i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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