trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
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When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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