is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
