Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
