Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
