you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
