We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
