She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
