I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
