he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
