he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
