Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
