He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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