Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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