just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
