That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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