he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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