i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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