I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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