I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole