I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
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I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.