He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight