Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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