can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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