At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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