and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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