I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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